John 14:21 (Introduction)

John 14:21

He who has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.  He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.

Discussion questions

1.  How do you become better friends with someone? How do you grow in your intimacy with a significant other?  How do you grow in your relationship with God?

2.  Why do you talk to your friends?  Why do you talk to God?

3.  What would  your relationship with your friends be like if you did all the talking?  Do you do all the talking in your relationship with God?

4.  How do you learn more about your friends?  How do you learn more about God?

I DIDN’T KNOW!

The first part of this verse tells us that the one who has Jesus’ commands and obeys them loves Him.  It’s difficult to obey or do if we don’t know what to obey or do.  Part of the reason why we study the bible is to KNOW what God’s commands are.  Doing this in our relationship with Jesus isn’t any different from the way we would do this in any of our other relationships.  When you have a relationship with someone there are things that person likes and things they don’t like.  To grow in our relationship with that person we need to learn more about that person so we can discover the likes and dislikes.  What they like us to do and not to do.  This process of discovery is called COMMUNICATION.  We learn to communicate with the people in our lives and discover new things about them when we communicate.  We do the same in our relationship with God.  The bible is God’s written communication to us and we learn more about Him by reading what He’s said to us.  

Discussion Questions

1.  What is communicated to your significant other when you do something they’ve asked you not to do?

2.  How does this affect your relationship?

3.  Is the strength of your relationships with people only measured by what you know about the person?  If you know a lot about a person through facebook or wikipedia can you say that you have a relationship with the person if you’ve never met?

4.  If a person says he believes in abstinence before marriage, then actively sleeps around with people as an unmarried person, does he really believe in abstinence before marriage?

5.  How does the disconnect between what you say and do affect your relationships?

RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU KNOW

The second part of the sentence tells us that knowing what God’s commands aren’t enough.  You need to apply what you know.  Jesus tells us that the one that has His commands and obeys them is the one that loves Him.  So it’s not just about knowing a lot about a person, we have to actually act on the information we have.  Imagine how this principle functions in a romantic relationship.  Say you  tell your partner that you love her.  Your partner tells you that she hates it when you blow her hair, but you keep blowing her hair because you think it’s fun.  When you do this you communicate a lack of respect for your partner.  You’re also communicating that you really don’t love your partner even though you've said you do.  Your lack of action or responsibility for the information you've given prohibits you from continuing to grow in your relationship with your partner.  

Discussion Questions:

1.  If your partner reveals something he likes/dislikes and you choose to ignore the information how does this affect your relationship?  

2.  How likely are you to spend time with a person that disregards what you tell them and makes a habit of doing the very things you've asked the person not to do?

3.  How do we show a people we respect or value them when they reveal new things about themselves to us?

WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT ME?

Just as the passage says, “the one that loves me will be loved by my Father and I too will love him and show myself to him.” First we need to remember that God first loved us (Rom 5:8).  We also need to understand that God’s revelations about Himself are expressions of love.  When God reveals more of Himself to us it’s an invitation to grow in our relationship with Him.  So when we learn about God it’s important for us to be careful with what God reveals to us about Himself through the Bible.  When we fail to act responsibly with the information God’s given us and choose to disobey God we need to understand that this is a decision to not love God.  Remember that the one that obeys God is the one that loves Him.  Obedience is synonymous with love.  Love and obedience are one in the same word. If we go back to the partner analogy when our partner has revealed information to us and we ignore it, she is less likely to reveal more of herself to us.  Why should she disclose more of herself to us if we haven’t been responsible and respectful of what she’s told us?  In the same way when God reveals things to us and we don’t act on them why should we expect God to reveal more of Himself to us if we haven’t been faithful with what He’s already given us?